taking a breather

Things are looking up. I feel worried about the weekend but I know things will fall into place. It's just the worrier in me that's giving me all these headaches. After the Law "quiz" I feel much lighter, despite the 4 tests I will be having next week on top of the CTK pass.

It's only the cool breeze that's bringing me closer to feeling Christmas. I miss the lights, the Christmas carols, the entire Christmas rush. I haven't passed by Bel Field though, I heard they've already put on the lights. Everyone's saying we're gonna be in Christmas mode when the break begins. We hardly noticed it's less than two weeks away. I can't wait to be up and about, mixing flour and sugar, chips and pecans, counting that all boxes have the same number of cookies, and adding an extra piece at random. I'm looking forward to being caught in a frenzy while getting all the goodies mixed up, and Mom going ballistic coz it'll only be a few hours till the Christmas Eve mass and she hasn't finished wrapping all the gifts yet. It may sound stressful and eyebags-inducing even, but what the heck, that's where all the joy is! I love the Christmas rush, I can't wait to get on the plane and head home. :)
I don't want to miss out on my favorite holiday. :)

==
"Underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here."
:)

feeling blah

Queena's right, our endurance levels continue to plunge as the months pass. I tire easily, I never seem to have enough sleep, I always feel so burnt out. I don't think I will be having a break either, coz there's a lot due right after the holidays. Thank God I'm going home. I can't imagine spending Christmas here. Spending the last three (going on four) birthdays away from home is enough. Taking away my favorite holiday is totally out of the question. Darn those people who crammed everything into a sem. Boo.

13 days to go before Christmas. :)

==
"Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you."

letting out

Reading Ailen's post just made me feel all squeamish. She writes so well. I felt the emotions she had while writing it, how there was so much honesty in what she was saying. Maybe it's also because I can identify with her in some ways, and how afraid I am to actually face the responsibilities that lie ahead of me. It scares me, knowing I will have to face it in a few months time. There's just so much I want to do with my life, I don't know where to start, I can't put things in perspective. It's time I can't keep up with, and I know it will never wait for me. I've got to get my act together. We all need a bit of serious thinking. :)

==

I hope from now on I wouldn't be too harsh in judging people anymore, because I feel the karma already. I hate it when people don't understand the extent of ctk, and how they easily compare it with other requirements, those which can be accomplished overnight. Every single experience is different from another, and I think it isn't fair to generalize and compare two things that aren't even the same to begin with. If only we all stop assuming, stop judging on surface level.

==

It's December 1. I still can't feel Christmas. Can you?

==
"Do you have to let it linger?"
- Linger, The Cranberries

the spiders in us

"You think that we connect
That the chemistry's correct
Your words walk right through my ears
Presuming I like what I hear
And now I'm stuck in the
The web you're spinning
You've got me for you prey
Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking into spiderwebs
So leave a message
And I'll call you back
A likely story, but leave a message
And I'll call you back."
- Spiderwebs, No Doubt

"It’s a complicated web, that you weave inside my head
I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, i’m diggin’ the lows
‘cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I’m feelin’ you."
- I'm Feeling You, Santana feat. Michelle Branch

the best advice

SMILE. :)

goblet of fire! :)

I'm so excited!!! We got tickets for Wednesday :) I have a 6-9 class but I'll have to sneak out I guess. :p Daniel's gonna be waiting for me. ;p

==
"I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost
Oh yeah."
- In My Place, Coldplay

moving in, moving on

Got back last Monday from my last sembreak. I wasn't able to spend much time with my friends (what's new?), but I had a wonderful time with my sibs. Can't wait for Christmas break! :)

I moved in T. Jus' old room a few days ago, and I'm still getting the hang of having my own nook (and my own coffee break! ;p), although I'll have to move out again in a few months time. Sob sob. The bed needs a lot of getting used to, but on days like today when I'm dead tired, I think the weird contour won't even get to me anymore. I miss my old hobbit space, especially P. Butch's CNN that lulls me to sleep. But just as he said, "So you'll be comfortable during your last sem!" Feeling the streaks of sunlight every morning is one thing that tremendously helps, especially since my schedule's filled with 730 and 830 classes everyday. I'm loving it! :)

Classes don't start until Monday, but we've been quite busy with the thesis already. Today we went to Museo Pambata to interview T. Nina, and distribute some surveys, but on the latter we were far from successful. We have to figure out another way on how to get the 300 target done before the deadline for market research comes up. I think we're visiting more museums tomorrow. I need an increase in my allowance. ;p

Despite all the stress coming our way, I have a strong feeling this will be a good sem. :)

==
"Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling." :)
- Brighter Than Sunshine, Aqualung

how sweet it is to be free :)

Finally! First sem is so over! Although I know I could've done better for the last few requirements, especially after going through the horrifying philo orals, I am more than delighted that it's all over. The last defense was terrible, but then let's put it all to history.
I feel so relaxed coz I'm not in a hurry to do anything, not even to buy Mom's kiwi tart and ciabatta. Thank God I have a day to relax, unlike how I'd usually rush home after every sem. Funny how I even get stressed out about going home. With all the things I have to arrange before leaving, the stuff I have to buy, the clothes I have to pack, I end up being a lot more stressed than excited! But this time, I feel like it will all go smoothly, even if I have to take a cab to the airport tomorrow. I can already smell the CDO air! ;p

We're starting off this long-anticipated stretch of freedom with a picnic at Bel Field later on today, for Rizza's despedida. Looking forward to spanish bread! :) we will miss you Riz!!!!!

I hope this will be a good break. A much-deserved good break. :)

Ciao! :)

what college is made of :)

*Ciara, thanks for the retouched version :)

Our Aegis block pic.

Sayang coz we weren't complete, and the set up's a bit cluttered.

But nevertheless, here's to the best block! :)

watch out for the latest telenovela!

*Thanks to Ciara for the photo :)

Don't we look it? Taken during Jiggy's party. :)
We have a special guest though, to lighten things up! ;p

destresser

Check this out - http://photos.viczhang.com/

His photos are stunning. :)

Only ONE more week to go. Freedom's just around the corner. :)

nearing the end

I need to see what the remaining days of the first semester will be like for me to feel that the end is indeed near. Here goes my crazy schedule for the LAST week of my LAST first sem:

Monday: CS final exam, LS final paper and presentation
Tuesday: Fash final paper
Wednesday: Theo orals
Thursday: Philo orals
Friday: CS defense

Yeah, one task per day except for Monday, but there are just so many thesis statements for both orals (13 for philo and 12 for theo! hello?!), I don't know how I'm gonna get those done in a day. I can't imagine preparing for the orals a week before. Blech. But seriously, I have to start now, if I want to make up for the lousy orals I had for both subjects. My blog sounds so nerdy already. Haha.

There isn't much of the lighter stuff I can write about, except for the fact that there are only TEN days left and the sem's over, ELEVEN and i'm going home! :) Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!! :)

But before that, back to the fash and LS paper. This will all be over soon. :)

spot the difference

We had an amusing discussion at the bench today after Yda's meeting with the junior EB. Clang and Cess brought up the topic, and we added to the list. Feel free to add in your own observations through the comment field :) *no offense to the lowerclass, inggit nga kami eh! ;p

How to spot the difference between upperclass (juniors and seniors) and lowerclass men (freshies and sophomores) on campus:

1. When walking...
Upperclass: Backs are hunched, walking fast (pace accelerates as the years pass), usually alone, always has a harassed look with super deep eyebags.
Lowerclass: Holds head up high, walks in large groups, without a care in the world, it's like a stroll in the park.

2. When in the computer lab...
Upperclass: Engrossed in finishing a paper due in an hour AKA major cramming.
Lowerclass: Leisurely browsing through friendster, reading blogs, and ym-ming.

3. When in the caf...
Upperclass: Takes a 5-minute detour to buy food and bring it to class.
Lowerclass: Makes it the haven for pusoy dos and what-have-you.

4. When in the lib...
Upperclass: Finds a corner (or most of the time, settles for the nearest desk) and desperately tries to catch up on sleep.
Lowerclass: Looks for the books needed for the english paper and leaves.

-to be continued- :)

nostalgia

"There's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt..
There's still a little bit of your words I long to hear.."
- Cannonball, Damien Rice

"We shared a moment that will last till the end."
- You're Beautiful, James Blunt

Happy Birthday. :)

tagged yet again!

Write 20 random things about you and tag as many people as the number of minutes you took in doing this.

time started: 6:48

20 random things about me

1. I love to eat! :)
2. I really miss home but I have no plans of working there (at least in the near future).
3. I miss my dog Waffy.
4. I hate typing on top of the screen; the cursor always has to be at the lower/bottom part of the screen.
5. I absolutely abhor cats.
6. I love blasts from the past - hearing old songs, eating food from my childhood, seeing the cartoon characters I used to love when I was a kid - Strawberry Shortcake and Rainbow Brite and a whole lot more! :)
7. I love the smell of coffee.
8. I won a spelling bee in grade two over the word "WHOLE" :)
9. I've been to five schools before AdMU.
10. I miss Seekers!
11. I love those Kraft caramel squares!
12. I was a suki of Glico's, Whimsy Land, and World of Toys! Teehee. Those were the days :)
13. I love watching a good game of basketball.
14. I have slight IBS.
15. I stole a Polly Pocket figure from my best friend back in prep! Shame shame...
16. I can't sing.
17. I can't dance.
18. I don't eat kare kare.
19. The longest time I had a crush on someone lasted for EIGHT freaking years. Hahaha ;p
20. I can't wait to go home! :)

time ended: 6:57

9 people! I'm tagging Ailen, Grace, Jamie, Gino, EZ, T. Jus, Ruel, Vikki, Yet :)

such a cutie :)

Move over JB. Sam's my new Big Brother cutie! :) and he's only 21! Doesn't he look different compared to how he was in the Close Up ad? So adorable! :)

Stalling time obviously. Should I read Philo na or should I sleep first? Duh. SLEEP!!!!!!! :)

Dad's arriving on Sunday, but he's gonna be free daw Mondays lang. And Mondays are the most hectic for me. Oh well, I'm sure I'll find time. And I want a McDo milkshake! :) G'night world. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....................................

my head is spinning

Eye bags is the new trend, cramming the new art. It takes so much skill to master - wasting time and then running against it, oversleeping then palpitating because of dire lack of it, lounging around, taking your own sweet time then eventually losing your mind because you've got 18 minutes to get to school and hand in that final paper without getting caught going against the dress code (aka wearing slippers in SOM). We all know this practice does the worst to our systems - abusing our bodies by not getting enough sleep, eating irregularly (hence GAINING weight), complaining without end but deep down knowing it's your fault anyway, becoming the most irritable person of all and passing on all the bickering to your friends, but still we all thrive in the addictive world of cramming. And this is only the beginning. Good luck thesis.

I've slept for only an hour today, and I haven't even started for my philo orals. The fifty page article by Marcel I haven't even read yet. I am so doomed. I honestly cannot wait for October 16. I miss home terribly.


==
"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
- Closing Time, Semisonic

"One day everything's gonna be fine."
- Westside, TQ

the little things

I'm tired. Thank God Mama sent me Fig Newtons on time. Munching on them surely lifted my spirits today. That I missed so much! Along with Bar None, Vanilla Fingers, Coney Island, and the list goes on and on. I miss being a kid.

As Greenday's song goes, "Wake me up when September ends." I was practically bawling when I talked to Mom. Hay kapuy.

Back to InDesign now. Thanks Riz for being there. :) And I quote Megan, "You're really a blessing!" Hahaha. Saturday then! I shall not rant further.

I wanna go HOME. :(

You're Beautiful by James Blunt

*He sings it with such sincerity. But I'd rather not watch the video. Better heard on the radio. :)

My life is brilliant
My love is pure
I saw an angel
Of that I'm sure
She smiled at me on the subway
She was with another man
But I won't lose no sleep on that
'Cause I've got a plan

You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause Ill never be with you

Yeah she caught my eye
As I walked on by
She could see from my face that I was flying high
And I don't think that I'll see her again
But we shared a moment that will last till the end

You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
You're beautiful, you're beautiful
But it's time to face the truth I will never be with you

There must be an angel
With a smile on her face
When she thought that I should be with you
But it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you

and the list grows longer and longer

Ha! I should have anticipated this long before. Exag na ang workload, it never stops piling up. Even if I seem to be planning things ahead of time, ang dami pa rin talaga! And what's getting to my nerves is Lilo who seems to be working slower by the day. There's a virus that got in pa ata. Grrrrrrrrr. With the CS project due next week, I hope InDesign won't be affected. I've scheduled reformatting this whole thing already pero on Thursday pa. Argh.

ICT Seminar in NINE freaking days!!! I'm nervous and ecstatic about it at the same time. My OC attacks are kicking in, I hope I'm not being too pushy or bossy or whatever. It's just that I'm afraid we might overlook some minor detail that will cause havoc. Hahaha. Exag. But seriously, I'm getting quite nervous about it. But the team's turning out so well. Thank you God! :)

T. Des has coiled a new term, MM. When she saw this ad of Big Brother, she goes, "What's that?! It looks so MM!" Hahaha. So conyo talaga! ;p let's see who figures that out!
I agree, the show does have an MM side to it, but I find it quite interesting. And JB is quite charming. Teehee. Ara and Yda, sali ka na kayo sa next batch! Hahaha! ;p

Happy 20th anniversary to Mom and Dad! 20 years as a married couple, even more before exchanging vows I'm sure. T.Bambi was saying nga na you guys got together when you were 12! Hahaha. I really can't wait to go home! Tella and I were chatting earlier about her debut in December among other things, and how we both have to lose weight for that. But then we ended up talking about food instead, hahaha. Now I'm craving for sinugba and kinilaw. Yummmmmmmmmmm.

Stalling time na naman obviously. I have to get back to Marcel and his zigzagging essay about hope. I need my beauty sleep, Aegis photo shoot na on Tuesday! Mom will disown me if she sees me with pimples and hideous bags in my grad pic! Hahaha. G'night world. :)

coming of age

It's been quite a while since I last wrote a decent entry. T. Jen resurfaced a few days back and asked for my blog's URL coz apparently she's got some internet time on her hands. So now I have a reason to update this little space of mine, and recount what's been happening lately. But first, congrats to T.Jen and her new baby, Alexa Jeanina (spelling?). I hope to see you both soon! :) I'm sure liwat siya sako, hahaha :) miss you weekend buddy!

Today was quite a diversion from the stressful weekdays we seem to be having without end. As Queena says, we always do such girly things, especially those which were done way back in our tweens. Well we're never too old for that. :) Proof of that was today, declared as mall day for us, something we haven't done together on a weekend (coz we always take a trip to the mall during our 6-hour breaks!), or maybe we have but it's just been ages ago since we last did. Shiela and Kynan couldn't join us so we were literally a sisterhood. T. Des mentioned at breakfast earlier that The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was a coming of age movie, and a sobfest at that, so we decided to check it out. I've been wanting to watch the movie since I'm an avid fan of the Sisterhood series, so I was really ecstatic when they all agreed to watch. It was a bonding movie, semi-Now and Then kind, and yes, we did sob (except for Queena who couldn't figure out which parts made us cry), and we could all somehow identify with the characters in the movie. We unanimously agreed that Shiela most resembled Tibby, who was an aspiring director and also quite eccentric, Yda was Lena (haha, afraid to love ;p) and a bit of Tibby just because she wears black most of the time, Ciara was most like Bridget, the flirt and the first to "explore", just like how we predict things to be in the near future. (peace Ara! ;p) So Quains and I were like, "So we're both Carmen?!", the one with the family issues, etc. At one point maybe, but then again, we all have family issues. If I remember it right, Carmen got herself a cutie in the 3rd series, so I wouldn't really mind. Haha :) After the movie, we shopped some more, and I bought myself a new bag, a perfect pair for my Chucks! :) I love it! :) but I still want a new jacket, new flats, new slippers, new tops, new everything! Oh when will this end?!

The mall trip was fun except for the text messages that kept on coming in about the ICT Seminar and the LS report. I couldn't look around and check out the clothes coz I was glued to my phone which has become so annoyingly slow these days, makes it harder (and takes darn longer!) to text. Sometimes I just wanna shut my phone off and not open it for a week, or even just for a day. But then after that, I'd have to catch up and reply to all the messages so what's the use? Why have we all become so dependent with our phones? The wonders and blunders of technology.

It's so ironic how I'm ranting about technology and at the same time organizing the ICT Seminar. And I'm dying to get in a telco company at that. There are just those times when you wish life were simpler, so you could enjoy the things that really matter. Like shopping. Haha kidding. More like being with my favorite people.
Isn't life full of ironies? :)

Ever After/Twisted Sunshine

Three years ago my journey began
Chasing down this cure, no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my racing guide in the dark
Just knowing with conviction from the start
The moment your eyes made an introductionI
felt my second violent breath of life
Flawless to the point of being godly
Yet I fell hard for your imperfections

And now we’re slightly weathered, we’re slightly worn
Our hands grip together eye to eye through the storm yet
I still believe in ever after with you
Coz life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there ain’t no current in this river we can’t ride
I still believe in ever after with you

Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like we’re floating when the rest have to climb
You made me believe in love and not the perfect kind
A real messy beautiful twisted sunshine
Emotions volcanic eruptions
We both still care so we’re still alive
Tunnel vision, determination
I want you
I want to make it right

And now we’re slightly weathered, we’re slightly worn
Our hands grip together eye to eye through the storm yet
I still believe in ever after with you
Coz life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there ain’t no current in this river we can’t ride
I still believe in ever after with you

You are my twisted sunshine

what you do comes back to you

Ooops. I think I just took things a little too far. I abused someone's kindness and now the consequences start coming in. It's one thing to tease someone, but taking advantage of the situation is an entirely different story. These effing people.

Philo has a point. What one considers to be right may not be the same for another. So how do we make ends meet? Compromise, yada, yada. Must we always give in? It may sound selfish but giving in all the time can be so draining. The world could swallow you alive. It's so hard to be selfless.

==
"If you feel somewhat wronged, there' s probably something awry."
- Trisha

"I didn't know what love was for
MY HEART WAS BROKE
MY HEAD WAS SORE
WHAT A FEELING."
- Brighter than Sunshine, Aqualung

ACTM Host Hunt!

Vote for your favorite host at the Kostka Extension!

Catch them in their final battle on August 17, 430-600, Mateo Ricci

on top of my head

The to-do list never seems to be empty, there's always something everyday that adds up to the already long litany. And I thought hell week was over. I didn't know marketing for an event would be this stressful. It can be both positive and negative stress, because I do enjoy what I'm doing but there are just those times when you want to make things happen so badly even when they're out of your control. But this sure is one incredible experience.

EZ dropped by around 1 am, and we talked till about 3. He sure is one happy dork. I'm so happy for you tigah! :D just don't bruise yourself too much hahaha ;p I can't wait for our next coffee break. Now I'm hooked!

I'm supposed to be reading LS and Philo but I decided to deal with ICT matters first. My grades have now plunged to below mediocrity. I should be doing better soon, before it's too late. It's mid sem already! Hope makauli ko sa sembreak. Now back to the books!

witty

"My left hand says WE, my right hand says ME."

That's how it should be, at least. :) Had a fun conversation over lunch about loyalty, engagement rings and bollywood. Just what I needed before continuing on with InDesign. Ho-hum.

i was tagged!

Three names you go by:
1. Pauline - what I prefer to be called in class, although Sir Bobby Guev gave me a new nickname, PEPPI! ;p
2. Popi - my nickname ever since I was a kid. Mom can't even remember why ;p it really was pronounced as Poopi but when I started school it became Popi na. So don't be startled when my relatives call me POOPS. Haha.
3. Pops - we're tight if you call me that. :)

Three screen names you have had:
1. popi_pax - paxi/pax was another nickname way back. Some of my high school friends still call me pax until now though.
2. papferrer - current ym id
3. doodlesmat - paxidoodlesmat is mom's nickname for me, have no idea why :)

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. my smile
2. my waist
3. the part of my fingers between my knuckles and my nails ;p

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. my hips
2. my height
3. my nails

Three parts of your heritage:
1. Pinoy
2. Spanish
3. Chinese

Three things that scare you:
1. Cats - the mere sight of them gives me the shivers. And when they stare right back, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
2. Sudden deaths of the people who matter to me.
3. Horror flicks.

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Ice cream! The ultimate stress reliever! I get withdrawal symptoms if I'm not able to have some. ;p haha nahawa na ako kay Yda!
2. Sleep for at least six hours. If I get less I can't function normally!
3. Raving and ranting in my journal. :)

Three of your favorite songs: (THREE lang?! Gosh I have so many! Top of mind nalang)
1. Perfect by True Faith
2. Weak by SWV
3. You're In Love by Wilson Philips

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. Trust
2. Unconditional love :)
3. Respect (and so much more...)

Three lies and truths in no particular order:
1. Love will conquer all.
2. The grass is greener on the other side.
3. Buying a Jaguar is against the preferential option for the poor. (Hangover from orals, haha)

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. Fashion sense. Very big factor.
2. Hands. The nails should be trimmed (but without any gloss please!) and the effect na parang he's worked a lot, hehe :)
3. Broad shoulders.

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Writing. It's so therapeutic. :) I used to write short stories but I never finished any. Boo.
2. Watching movies and pigging out on junk and sweets and not worrying about a single thing! (Girls! When do we finish Chasing Liberty? Hahaha ;p)
3. Reading. I miss that. HP6 after hell week! :)

Three things you badly want to do now:
1. Eat ice cream! I deserve a treat from enduring the entire week's stress!
2. Visit Mama! :(
3. Have someone do my CS project. I'm supposed to be starting it now. Ugh.

Three things you're considering/you've considered:
1. Visit Mama after college. I need a miracle for this.
2. Get a masters degree. Right.
3. Work in CDO. It's booming after all.

Three places you want to go to on vacation:
1. Italy
2. Bohol
3. USA

Three kid's names you like:
1. Marguerite
2. Enrico
3. Jose

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Travel all over the world.
2. Be happily married with kids.
3. Able to help Mom and Dad :)

Three ways you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I enjoy basketball.
2. I prefer wearing sneakers.
3. I like cars.

Three ways you are stereotypically a girl:
1. I have so many issues with sanitation.
2. I always put on alcohol after holding dirty things.
3. I prefer leaving the house with dry hair (which means I need to wake up an extra hour earlier for it to dry so I end up being late all the time coz I keep on hitting the snooze button!)

Three celeb crushes:
1. Piolo :)
2. Geoff Eigenmann
3. Jude Law

Three people I'm tagging:
1. Yet
2. Ailen
3. EZ

bittersweet

Ate Hi-C (our formator), couldn't have described the entire immersion experience better. Bittersweet. The people we met, the stories they shared, the games we played, the tears we all shed. It wasn't the immersion I expected, but the entire experience struck me nonetheless. As much as I'd want to write about everything that transpired, I still feel beat. The long nap I had since I got home wasn't enough. Maybe I'm still emotionally drained too. Joy was right, "parang sinampal kami sa mukha" with all that they've experienced. There's just SO MUCH to be grateful for. Right now I don't have the words that could capture how enlightening the entire experience was. Maybe they will come in bits. Basta, kakaiba talaga mag-immersion. :)

Hope to write more soon. It's gonna be a FULL week ahead. I dread CS. Will reply to emails tomorrow.

==
"Gusto kong humuli ng tutubing asul.
Gusto kong humuli ng tutubing pula.
Tutubing asul?
Tutubing pula?"

my battered baby :(

Sob. My beloved Chucks are so battered. The saleslady at Beauty Bar deranged it with her big black heel. But before that, I had to go through such a harrowing commuting experience. I thought the Boni ride with Ara a few months ago was the worst MRT scenario ever, but the one I just had today obviously broke that record. It was like an obese person forcing herself into an extra small tank top. Seriously. Plus I had so much stuff on my hands, and they all got smashed. I bought Yaya Nats a slice of her favorite banana crunch from Red Ribbon, and it was practically flat when I handed it to her. Oops.
So was it just today? Or are Friday nights on the MRT really that bad? Now I know why some people describe these experiences as dehumanizing. Hahaha.

My bill's on an all-time high this month. 1600+, with three days to go till the end of my cycle. Mom is really gonna kill me. I'm thinking of paying for the excess this time. Guilty guilty.
On my way to the LRT earlier, I noticed a lot of people were inside Lacoste Footwear, a very unusual sight. OMG!!! They're on sale!!! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!! The flats I've been dreaming about for the longest time costs 30% less! Oh dear God. So that's why some grace came my way last week. But no, I spent it na! Ho-hum. When will I ever learn to save?!?! And Adidas is having a 50% off + trade in your old sneaks thing come end of the month. So depressing. The shoe addict in me is seriously being tested. Gah.

Yda says "NO, even if I haven't met him. NO!!!" Haha. I know I've said a billion times that I've put this all behind me. Why does he have to mess everything up all the time? Men - no, BOYS, can be such cowards sometimes. Tella says we need MEN, not BOYS. Such a sweet thought. ;p

Happy 14th birthday Geli! :) Got two classics for my dear sis - Through The Looking Glass and Wind In The Willows. Hope you'll enjoy reading them! Miss you lots Pinz!

I'll be in Taytay for the weekend. It's been so long ago. Immersion na next weekend!

here, there, and everywhere

I feel so burnt out from cramming the yearbook requirements last night till this morning! Doing my write up a few hours before the deadline? I don't think so! I hope it won't be as crappy as I think it is, although I don't know how that will change since I've already submitted it. Oh well.

Immersion's coming up soon, and I don't know what to expect. I have qualms about it coz our sector's on children and I'm not a big fan of kids. Let's see how things go. Which reminds me, we have another Theo quiz tom, and I really need to make up for the sucky grades I got in the past two quizzes! It's such a struggle to translate the English concepts to Filipino! I haven't started reading yet. Good luckie.

The effects of this unlimited/free text thing can be drastic. But then again, there's always the concept of choice, so I think a huge part of it depends on me. Sigh. I need Divine Intervention. ;p

what i can do

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

growing spaces

My own words aren't brave enough.

Thanks for the Bo talk Yet, don't two negatives result to something positive? :) It'll be all good soon.

==
"Fears are mind games." - Nat

details

It's always best to keep your hopes up. And be happy with the little things. :)

==
"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."
- Maya Angelou

Fragile (Free) by Maria Mena

I've been walking around all day thinking
I think I have a problem, I think I think too much
I've been taught to hold back my tears and avoid them
But you've made pain into something I could touch

I've been walking around all day laughing
Think I'd be better off without you here
And I bet you're sweet and hard to get over
So I'll cry and people will stop and stare
Now that's ok, let them stop and stare

Cause I am fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free

I've been walking around all day waiting
And waiting is all I seem to do
Cause I never get it unless I'm fed it
But this time I'll just have to
Yeah, this time I'll just have to

And I'm fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free

Say you're not around, am I finished?
If you're not around that's too bad
Hope you're safe and sound, not alone now
Cause you know I believe in you

I'm still fragile
I'm still hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free

the old times

The traditional DS "Welcome Back" GA was held earlier, and surprisingly, in a lot of ways, it was very un-traditional.
I remember during the last few core meetings last year, it was always stressed that this year would have so many changes because of the move to Mateo. Lesser services, lesser funds, lesser people per shift, etc. But Cuads just had the right words to describe all the new changes. I can't remember what they were exactly, but the thought was having the company, the laughs, the jokes, complement the extra effort we had to put in to make everything work. And that's always what we did best. :)
The atmosphere was very casual, no stiffness whatsoever, and everyone seemed to be having a great time (issues na to dahil sa polo! ;p) For a time it crossed my mind - what if I never left the core? The core now is just so different from how we were before. Twin already warned me about this when I was already leaning more towards leaving, na super fun yung core now, I might regret not being part of it anymore. But as I think about it now, it's not really the position of authority, but the people who you work with. I guess I can still take hold of that, even as a member. I wouldn't think I'd be saying this but sobrang na-miss ko sila.
Talking to them during and after the GA reminded me of 2nd year, plain kwentuhan and having a lot of fun in that alone. No frills, no issues, just fun (I wanted to say pure fun but I'd be lying ;p)
Quains said earlier, "di mo talaga matiis no?" and I think she's right. This might be really cheesy, but there's this different kind of homey feeling I get when I'm in DS, when I'm with the people there. Kakaiba talaga sila. ;p

mid-air

One of those blah days. Makes me wonder about the empty states we all feel trapped in, and the various facades we conjure to convince ourselves and everyone else that everything is right where it should be.

==
"I've been the needle and the thread, weaving figure eights and circles round your head. I try to laugh but cry instead, patiently wait to hear the words you've never said.
There's only so much I can do for you, after all of the things you put me through."
- from Must Get Out by Maroon 5

OPM

Santayo was complete today (YAY!), and we decided to check out the latest Star Cinema flick, Nasaan Ka Man. (Wait, the last movie we watched na complete kami was Bcoz of U! ;p support OPM - Original Pinoy Movies! ;p)
I'd say it was a very experimental movie - the plot was something new, none of those predictable love shit, and the twist was well, twisted! Haha. It was mind-boggling ;p Kynan says this is Cholo Laurel's first time to direct a film. Kudos to you sir! Artsy shots, incredible lighting, splendid acting, basta the movie was really good! Despite the fact that I was covering my eyes 1/4 of the time, I think it was a great film. (Minus the cats of course.) Hope there would be more of this kind in Philippine Cinema.

I was supposed to write about something else besides the movie, but now I can't seem to recall what it is. Oh well.

DS GA on Friday! Yay! I miss them na.

Happy Birthday Coy :) my little brother's 13 already! I always find myself fascinated with the fact that for a few days, Geli and he are both the same age, having a gap of only 11 months. Cool noh? :)

father's day

Happy Father's Day to all dads out there! :)

Dad wasn't able to extend his trip till today but it's okay, had a blast with him when I got to see him last Friday. We were finally able to try the milkshakes from McDo Macapagal Ave., and it's a lot sweeter than how it used to be 10 or so years ago. But it was good nonetheless. :) we went to Shang and Megamall to buy stuff for Mom and my sibs, he then dropped me off at Glorietta to meet up with T. Jo and Robie, and we pigged out some more while waiting for Dad who was at the Pen for their company's anniversary thing. T. Jo opened up about an incident a few months ago involving this ever-so-arrogant creature. The nerve! I never liked him since, he's so full of himself! Ugh! People like them should be taught a lesson. Grrrrrrr.
We got home around 2 am na, thanks to Tripper. :) had a great time with Dad, missed spending time with him. Thanks daddykins! :)

Today was a day of even more pigging out! As Yda says, "Buhay baboy!" Exaj talaga today. Had lunch at Chocolate Kiss with P. Butch and EZ, and we had food for about five! Haha. Their pesto is good, but I must say their baked potato rocks! Carbs galore! We bought EZ's supplies after, then got some stuff for the special dinner cooked by P. Butch himself. The subtle styles better work for both of us doyyyy. More stories about the seductive seatmates, tricks I didn't know could be labeled as such, and all those frustrations about being the good guys. Right. We dropped by his place for a while to look at some photos (yiheeee, M***!), and when we were about go back home, it suddenly rained so hard! We were soaked! Great. After a few minutes, the rain stopped, perfect timing since we had to go back and get the jungle jacket and hat for T.Des. When we were on our way back it started raining again! Dang. Oh well. EZ and I rested for a while, accompanied by the emo mix, which left him (not me, only him!) thinking, haha. We then took black and white shots of our healthy selves (I love black and white pics!) until T. Jus announced that it was time for dinner. Huuuwwwaaat?!?! I was still feeling full from lunch! But anyhow, the food was absolutely fab! We had the best raisin bread in town (from Baguio Country Club), Majestic ham, Callos and Lengua Civiliana prepared by P. Butch himself, along with alfajors and strawberries fresh from Baguio, thanks to T. Des and Carl. YUM!!! :) I love alfajors! (Didn't sound too nice ;p)

There goes my Sunday. EZ says he doesn't like Sundays coz they're too peaceful. I'd agree to that, but this Sunday was way different. It was a special Sunday. :) thanks guys!

*As we all said earlier, diet starts tomorrow. ;p

first day funk

I was actually excited for this second-to-the-last first day of school (I don't remember being excited about first days in the recent sems), so it led me to think this sem will be different.

It started out okay, I wasn't late or anything for my first class, no booboos. I even had time to hang out at ds before classes started. I was telling Queena earlier, nami-miss ko na ang ds. It was sad not seeing my name plastered in one of the pigeon holes anymore, or when the members were asking "kelan first GA?", i no longer had the answer. I missed approaching the room at 1045ish every MWF and Twin yelling "Popi, late ka nanaman!" ;p

My only class in the morning was Theo 141 with Bobby Guev, with Filipino as the main medium of instruction. Having taken Philo 101 and 102 in Filipino, I was thinking I could bear this class, and I really wanted to take him since he's one of 'em legends already. The very first thing we did in class was pray, and boy was it in DEEP Filipino! Yda and I were thinking the same thing - we're screwed! But later on, he explained that no one flunked his class for the reason that they didn't do well with the language, so I'm taking comfort in that. Hope his class will be fun and indeed memorable.

My next class was at 6 pm pa, so Kate, Kynan, Queena, Yda, and I had lunch at Fazoli's in Eastwood. We went window shopping for a while, and after about an hour decided to go to Gateway. Kynan and Kate went to school to finish their loadrev, and the three of us headed for another mall! The damage that six hour breaks can do! More window shopping, and when we finally accepted the fact that the stores in Gateway were just way beyond our means, we trekked to SM (which Yda thought was dangerous ;p) and I decided to hunt for funky shoelaces for my beloved Chucks. :) the highlight of our SM trip were the two saleladies we encountered, who were just unbelievable. The first one was the bitchiest I have ever come across so far. Yda wanted to try on a wig so she was taking out the wig from the mannequin's head when this saleslady from hell suddenly goes "Anong ginagawa mo?!" Hello?! What a way to address a customer! So Yda explains that she wants to try it on and the saleslady says it not allowed, blahblahblah. So we just left and did the rolling of the eyes all the way to the 2nd floor. When we got there, I looked around for the shoe laces, and when I couldn't find it, I asked one of the salesladies "Saan 'yung shoe laces na may design?", she goes "Ay wala, white lang po." Great. So we just look around anyway, and lo and behold, one whole rack filled with printed shoe laces! Hello number two?!?! Yda was enraged, she wanted to shove the printed shoe laces in the saleslady's face, haha. We were already strategizing on how to tell her, until we all ended up in tears because we were already laughing so hard! ;p exaj talaga yung mga salesladies na yun! Hay!

After about an hour, Quains went home na and Yda and I headed back to school. We were so sticky and stinky from the pollution, when we got back to school, we practically ran to the nearest washroom! Haha. Gala kasi eh! ;p
Our fashion merchandising management class came next, and as expected, it was an all-girl class! Ciara said she felt like she was in an exclusive school, haha. The topics to be discussed seem interesting, I hope the lectures won't be boring. Our teacher seems to know a lot about fashion, she studied at a fashion institute in New York, and has worked for SM, Chocolate, etc. She must be good. One tool she's using to teach us more about the business side of fashion is this forecasting website, which I have yet to fully explore. We have a 5-hour limit per week to use the website, and as Ara says, it will take more than 5 hours to check out everything available in the website. Seems exciting! :)

Dinner with Dad didn't push through tonight, since he suddenly had something to do for work. Which also means I no longer have to sleep over at Yda's place, no more Gilmore marathon. =/ sayang, was looking forward to it pa naman! So Ciara, Neth, Yda, and I had dinner at McDo instead after our fashion class, and chatted some more about our classes this sem, Yda's learning experience with not-so-wholesome terms, and Ciara's incessant teasing with Neth and this "chem boy" haha ;p Yda then treated us all to sundae cones after, yay! Thanks Yda! :)

Wow, this was a long post. It was a good first day. I hope it's an indication somehow that this will be a good sem. :)

happy tired :)

Wow. Today was great. I so love i1, they rocked my world today. :)

Thanks Yda, Ara, and Kynan for "dragging" me into this. I'm hella sure I would've regretted it if I didn't join! ;p

Chuga that banana baby! :)

happy happy :)

Why am I happy?

1. Dad's coming over on the 14th and will be here for about a week, hopefully till Father's Day. :)
2. Mama sent me new bookmarks to add to my collection - a wooden kind with Chinese characters, a metal scroll-like kind with a beautiful passage from St. Anthony, and an oriental carpet type, woven in Instanbul. The last one reminds me of the Charta kind I got from T. Jus when she went to Venice, only smaller, maybe I could call it baby Charta. Haha. So cool! Thanks ma! :)
3. I was able to meet up with Yet yesterday. :) we went to our favorite mall, and window shopped until our backs and feet hurt. I had to change shoes and she had to buy slippers! Talk about mallrats! Haha.
4. Which brings me to the next happy moment...I finally bought CHUCKS! :) Yipee! After months of pining and drooling over them whenever I'd see them on display, finally I have a pair I can call my own! :) I always wanted to get the berry pink pair with the plaid fold but Quains said I should just get cheaper ones and buy something else with the difference. It made a lot of sense since the fold wouldn't really be seen most of the time, so I decided to get these light pink ones with peppermint-green linings. Yet says it's more "ME" than the berry pink ones anyway. Thanks again to Mama! :)
5. I slept all day today! Woke up at 8, went to mass at 930, slept again when I got home till about 12, ate lunch, read for a while, slept again from around 2-5. Wow. It feels so good to just laze around and not worry about a thing. :)
6. We had a splendid dinner at Recipes in Eastwood earlier. The food is fab there! It's now one of my fave restaurants. And as Carl puts it, the beef kicker rocks! :)
7. I have about a week pa before school starts. Yay! Bawi on sleep and reading time!
8. Great movies coming out next week - Monster in Law, Batman Begins, Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
9. Orsem in a few days! I'm nervous and excited at the same time. Hope everything goes well. Someone there is just so adorable ;p
10. My roof's gonna be fixed tomorrow. It's about time!

fun with the girls :)

camera stop before mall hopping!

after wall climbing ;p

three peas in a pod?! :)

the world is our playground. :)

a league of our own.

i love 'em :)

we miss you shiela!

long overdue pahiyas pics

*Thanks for the cam Quains! :)

Alexa, Me, Aira, and Paul trying the famous pancit habhab :)

the best AI season ever!

American Idol Carrie Underwood. Loving the dress! :)

The BEST Final Two. Hands down.

bless the broken road. alone. angels brought me here. if you don't know me by now.

go carrie! :)

i just love oldies :)

Originally done by Smokey Mountain, revived by MYMP.

Bakit kaya nangangamba
Sa tuwing ika'y nakikita
Sana nama'y magpakilala

Ilang ulit nang nagkabangga
Aklat kong dala'y pinulot mo pa
'di ka pa rin nagpakilala

Bawat araw sinusundan
'di ka naman tumitingin
Ano'ng aking dapat gawin

Bakit kaya umiiwas
Binti ko ba'y mayroong gasgas
Nais ko lang magpakilala

Dito'y mayroon sa puso ko
Munting puwang laan sa 'yo
Maaari na bang magpakilala

Bawat araw sinusundan
'di ka naman tumitingin
Ano'ng aking dapat gawin

Kailan (kailan), kailan mo ba mapapansin ang aking lihim
Kahit ano'ng aking gawin, 'di mo pinapansin
Kailan (kailan), kailan hahaplusin ang pusong bitin na bitin
Kahit ano'ng gawing lambing, 'di mo pa rin pansin

summer once again

Had my last exam earlier, now I'm free! Weeeeeeeee! :)
I have about three weeks till classes start again in June, and I can't believe I turned down a free trip home. With OrSem, reg, and everything else, sayang lang. Oh well. Hope the free trip is still valid during sembreak (which I heard will last for a month daw! How true?!). I will be needing such generosity especially since Pacific's screwing up everything. Grrr.

On a much lighter note, I am so FREE! Did I say that already? Haha. And I'm glad I won't be stuck at home for the next few days because there is just nothing to eat here! I have ACTM stuff tomorrow, probably meet up with Mama A. on Thursday, then TNT training on Friday-Sunday. And on Monday, Yaya Nats will be here na! :) Yay! Domesticated no more. ;p

Oh yeah, and Yet's gonna be back June 3! Can't wait! :)

so much for dieting

Looking at myself in the mirror makes me shake my head in disapproval every time. I am gaining weight AGAIN. Having no Yaya Nats (meaning no cook) around should have meant less food intake - because I'm too lazy to cook and even lazier to go out and buy food - but no, I gained instead.
I saw Kitchie Nadal's live performance of "Same Ground" earlier on myx, and she looks like she lost a lot of weight. Grrrr. After that came Lindsay Lohan's "Over". Dang. They aren't skin and bones, they aren't tub-tubs like me either. They're just right. Argh. I hate this. So after watching the video I told myself I wouldn't have my usual sandwich for dinner, no more carbs at night. So my alternative was to take in a lot of liquids, to somehow keep me full. My mind was pretty set for just plain spam for dinner but at around 630, Tita Des asked if I could cook RICE coz P. Butch was bringing home some pata tim. Oh no. I told myself we had red rice anyway, so it was really not that big of a deal. And we haven't had rice for three weeks so it wouldn't really hurt right? But when P. Butch arrived, I just had to say goodbye to my diet. The cuapao that came with the pata tim was just too good to refuse. Major carbs. Damn.
Oh well. I will start tomorrow. Mark my word. ;p

finally!

Finally I get to post photos! Hope this works :)

Lunch at World Topps. :)

camera babies! taken inside an ATM booth ;p

Shakey's ice cream bar + predictions galore = pure F-U-N!!! :D

ACTM here we come! :)

don't you just love their humor? :)

Over lunch earlier, Yda done with her boneless bangus meal, leaving only the skin:

Kynan: 'Di mo kinakain yung skin?
Yda: It's unhealthy.
Kynan: Talaga?! How come?
Yda: Halos lahat ng skin unhealthy noh. Like skin ng fried chicken, etc.
Kynan: (he had lumpiang shanghai) Eh pa'no yung skin ng lumpia?
Yda: 'Yan din, fried nga eh.
Kynan: Eh pa'no skin ng white rabbit?
Yda: Ewan.
Kynan: Eh pa'no skin ng banana?
Me: Hello. May kumakain ba nun?
Kynan: Oo. Mga monkeys!
Yda: (in a very serious tone) Hindi kaya.
Kynan: So you mean yung monkeys binabalatan ang saging?!?
Yda: (still maintaining the serious tone) Oo noh.
Kynan: Talaga?! (believing for a split second before bursting into laughter) Sige nga, dapat pumunta tayo ng Manila Zoo one of these days tapos bigyan natin yung monkeys dun ng saging!!!
Yda: Kaya nga sila ang animals na pinaka-parang humans dahil matalino sila.
Kynan: Ha?! (with a mezmerized look on his face)

Hahaha. Ang saya diba? :)

best days

Today was a better day. One of my best days in fact.

I love my friends. :)

==
"Sometimes the weather can be rain, but one day it will be sunny again. Without the clouds of life, it's just another sunny day."
- from Best Days by Juice

stupidity

I could have asked the people who would give me straight answers but I won't. I desperately want to find out what happened between them, but a part of me still wants to hear the truth from him. Everyone else could be giving their own versions of the story - to make it more juicy, more complicated, than it actually is. What did he, or they (who is this girl anyway?!) do that angered the ex so much? Nothing more than getting together and playing around. Jeez, I hope not.
And what was I thinking? I now realize I don't really know him after all. I was right. He is full of mystery, and he won't let me in. I feel so stupid, allowing myself to be swept away by someone I barely know. I had that lurking thought at the back of my mind - he did it before, he could always do it again. Although now, I don't know if he did exactly what I think he did. Wow, I can't believe this. I'm even giving him the benefit of the doubt. Gah. Maybe that's why Jess held everything back. Reasons. They should fall into place.

Besides all the controversy, I still can't help but be worried about him. The guy who's blood he boiled isn't someone he can easily call a truce with. He's one of those stuck up pricks who aren't afraid of pulling the trigger on whoever pisses them out. I'm serious. He says he didn't fight back. That's all he told me. I asked M for details, he says he can't tell. He says he doesn't want to tell me because "it isn't a very nice thing to hear, much more to think about."Great. Thanks for being helpful. I couldn't pry further because he might get all suspicious about me and whatever relationship I have with B, clearly something that should not be brought up right now.

So here I am left to wonder. And very close to affirming my theory that ALL men cheat at least once in their lives.

sorts

Just a few realizations today:

- Life may seem unfair, but there are always reasons why things are how they are.
- In the end, it's only your immediate family who you can call your own. Love them dearly.
- There are times when you just have to sacrifice.

sabi nga.

1: let's say you have a girlfriend of about two to three years and then you guys break up. think of a guy friend you've been quite close to before but not anymore...
2: okay...
1: let's say they get together now. how would you feel?
2: f*** him man!
1: so you'll be mad at him and not at your ex?
2: hands off man!
1: even if you don't have feelings for her anymore?
2: you'd still want to take care of her.
1: what if you knew she kinda liked him from way back, even before you guys got together?
2: i'd feel bad.
1: but you guys got together anyway, and it was good.
2: i'd still feel bad.
1: so i'm bad?
2: yeah, you're bad.

para sa mga mahilig sa sapatos

*got this from Trisha. Thanks Twin! :)
a bit long but worth reading!

1. The overused shoes
When I went to Davao for Christmas vacation in 2001, I found what I think was the best shoes I've ever had. It was a blue and white slip-ons with a flower on its strap. Margay ang tatak niya. Ang tagal ko na naghanap ng blue na kikay slip-ons at doon ko lang sa Gaisano Davao nahanap iyun. And I bought the shoes for 500 lang! Feeling ko pa, suwerte ako dahil last pair na iyun. And it was my size!

Sobrang natuwa ako sa kikay kong sapatos. At napakalambot niya! I wore the shoes everyday because they would match anything -- denim, slacks, capri pants, skirt, dress. Gamit ko siya in the office, at the mall, in church, even at the beach!

Dahil araw-araw ko siyang nagamit, at nasuot ko na siya sa kung saan, it was expected na wala pang isang taon ay sira na siya. Sabi ko, okay lang. May Margay naman sa Robinsons saka sa Landmark, siguro naman may ganoong style pa sila. Ngunit napuntahan ko na lahat ng display ng Margay pero wala akong nakitang katulad nang nabili ko sa Davao. Nakadalawang uwi na ako sa Davao at pumupunta ako sa Gaisano, umaasang may makikita akong ganoon klaseng sapatos. Hindi na nga ako naghahangad ng eksaktong ganoon eh. Kahit na kamukha lang o kasing-lambot lang, okay na. Kaso wala.

Iyong kikay blue Margay na slip-ons ko -- na malambot at may naka-angat na bulaklak sa strap, na bagay sa kahit anong damit ko -- ay sira na ngayon. Hindi lang siya sira, nangingitim na sa dumi, at hindi na kayang i-glue ang punit na talampakan. Pero hindi ko pa siya maitapon-tapon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Alam ko hindi ko na siya maisusuot uli, pero may reminder naman ako na once upon a time, I had a perfect pair of shoes. Hindi ko nga lang inalagaan.

Lesson learned:
Kapag nahanap mo na ang bagay o tao na sa tingin mo ay perfect na para sa iyo, ingatan at alagaan mo. Huwag mong abusuhin. Kapag nawala sila, baka wala ka nang mahahanap na kapalit. At habambuhay mo na lang iisipin na "sana, inalaagaan ko siya."

2. The "maganda siya pero masakit" shoes
May fini-fit ako noon na sapatos sa Celine. Okay lang ang presyo. Maganda ang material. Kikay ang hitsura. At kapag suot ko, nakaka-sexy ng paa. May isang problema nga lang... masakit sa paa.

Pero cutie kasi siya eh. Saka on sale. At sadyang matigas ang ulo ko. Kaya ayun, binili ko.

Sa umpisa, okay lang naman. Keri ko. Saka masakit naman talaga sa paa ang bagong sapatos. Pero habang lumilipas ang oras, lalong sumasakit. Hindi siya meant sa pangmatagalang suot. Habang suot ko siya, parang gusto kong umiyak sa tuwing humahakbang ako. Pagdating ko ng bahay, puro sugat at galos ang paa ko. At ilang linggo din akong may peklat sa paa dahil sa diyaskeng sapatos na iyun.

Kapag sa umpisa pa lang, alam mo na masakit na sa paa at hindi mo puwedeng suotin ng matagalan, huwag mo nang bilhin. Bakit mo pa itutuloy kung alam mong masasaktan ka lamang kapag sinuot mo?

Parang pakikipag-relasyon din iyan eh. May mga lalake na good on paper, bagay sa iyo, tipo mo nga eh. Ang kaso, panandalian lang siya. "Boylet" lang kasi unavailable siya. Bakit mo pa itutuloy kong alam mong eventually ay masasaktan ka lang? Sana, habang maaga pa, iwasan mo na.

Lesson learned:
Kung sa umpisa pa lang, alam mo na masasaktan ka lamang sa bandang huli, huwag mo nang ituloy. Baka mag-iwan pa iyan ng scar na hindi mo na maaaalis kailan man.

3. The shoes that got away
May nakita akong magandang sandals sa Landmark. Mura lang, less than 500 lang siguro. Kakaiba din siya kasi hindi siya iyong style na makikita mo sa babaeng katabi mo sa MRT. Black and white siya. Polka dots ang strap niya pero hindi cheap ang dating. Ang kikay nga eh. tapos, two inches iyong heels niya. Sinukat ko minsan, ang ganda sa paa!

Kaya lang, hindi ko siya binili. Kasi, kakaiba siya eh. Mahirap hanapan ng ka-match na damit at bag. Saka kakabili ko lang kasi ng isang sandals kaya sabi ko, next pay day ko na lang bibilhin ang polka dots na sapatos na yun.

Madalas akong dumaan sa Landmark at nakikita ko ang sapatos na gusto ko bilhin pero hindi ko mabili-bili. Ilang pay day na ang dumaan pero hindi ko pa rin siya kinukuha para iuwi. Hanggang sa dumating ang oras na kailangan ko ng isang kikay na sandals na may print. Naisip ko agad ang polka-dots na matagal ko na gusto bilihin. Pero pag-punta ko sa Landmark, wala na siya doon. Naubos na. Ang ending, napabili ako ng ibang printed na sapatos na hindi ko naman talaga gusto pero wala akong choice kasi kailangan ko na nga.

Lesson learned:
Kung magpapaligaya sa atin ang isang bagay, seize the day! Sa kaka-delay, baka mawala lang sa atin ito at mauuwi tayong nagse-settle sa hindi naman talaga natin gusto. Mas mahirap pagsisihan ang mga bagay na hindi mo ginawa. Wala na yatang mas masakit pa sa thought na abot-kamay mo na lang, pero pinalampas mo pa.

Sino ba naman mag-aakalang may mapupulot pala akong leksyon sa mga sapatos? Kaya nga panay bili ko eh, para mas marami pa akong matutunan. Sa susunod, I will find lessons from bags naman para ma-justify din kung bakit sandamakmak ang bags ko.

- anonymous -

Sunday Morning by Maroon 5

Sunday morning, rain is falling
Steal some covers, share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy
Living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I need
In darkness, she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

But things just get so crazy, living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning, rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you

And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Oh, come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow, driving slow (all I need, all I see)
oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah (bones with me)
I'm a flower in your hair
yeah yeah, yeah yeah

to Be or not to Be

Ara and I went bargain hunting in Cubao today, we spent about five hours going around Farmer's, SM, and Ali Mall, and all we got were a pair of shades each, plus a jacket for her. There were quite a number of cute tops but I just didn't have the moolah. Boo-hoo. Plus Seventeen and Converse were on sale! Dang. I saw the Chucks I've wanted since forever, 10% off lang though. Where in the world will I get the money?!?! Hay. I was telling Ara about my barista plans, but with all the org stuff I got into, I don't think I'll have time for a part-time job anymore. Maybe during the second sem, I can try it out, at least there will be continuity after. More time to think about it. Hmmm. After all the window shopping, we had dinner at the Gateway food court, and we made a big mistake of choosing Steak Escape. Terrible service. Our food was undercooked, so we had them done again, and when we got it, overcooked naman. With all that bitter aftertaste. Well at least now we know where NOT to eat, especially if we're really hungry after a lot of walking and fitting and talking!
Minus the food, I had a lot of fun mall-hopping! It certainly was a great way to "escape" from all the issues, and immerse myself in the much-needed therapy of shopping and girl talk. :)

What issues? I can't even describe them explicitly if I were asked to. Maybe it's just the way I see things, or that I don't feel content, I keep on thinking that there's always something missing. It's such a rollercoaster of emotions. One day I can be really happy, filled with all that proactive, positive feeling, and on another I can be sluggish, sad, overly sensitive. Was there ever a time when I felt just fine, not yearning or wanting anything more? Can't recall. Well a few months back maybe, yes, I do remember even writing an entry or two about it. But now, I feel like there's always something holding me back from being content and happy with how things are. It seems like there is some space I want to fill, some need I just can't attend to because I don't even know what it is.
While having breakfast at McDo yesterday, I saw two kids on another table, a boy who was about 12, in soccer gear, chatting with his younger sister of about 8. I remembered Paolo and Sam instantly, and how I missed them. Paolo loves soccer, and he's always very protective of Sam, a true Kuya - always taking care of her, talking to her, playing with her, despite their constant bickering. Another instance that made me miss my sibs was while waiting for T.Jen two days ago in Glorietta. I heard the song Geli and I used to make fun of all the time, and how I missed her too. I called them last night and talked to all three of them but afterwards, the "need" was still there. And I talk to them almost everyday so I doubt it's my homesick virus.
The last thing I'd want this to be is something related to B. He sent me a message yesterday, a canned one. Right. What am I gonna do with that? I don't know why this is affecting me so much. I was telling Yet that it was somehow different with the previous and it's freaky how I talk to Him about it all the time, everyday, without fail. I never did this before. And Carl sent me such a timely message this morning:

"Be patient when God doesn't give you what you want. He knows the best time for you to have it. Just remember that you can have it all but you just can't have it all at once."

Perfecto eh? But still I just want to know why. I think I do, but again, these are all my theories. Maybe it's not him. Maybe it's something as mundane as PMS.
And so he says. Enjoy this life.

==
"He's a maze of curiosity..Can I keep him in my galaxy? Can I keep him in my fantasy?"
- from When He's Not Around by The Corrs

"Reality could never match the fantasy. That was always the problem, and it was just a question of stopping the fantasy."
- Cath, Bookends

"The world is spinning, and I'm still living, it won't be right if we're not in it together."
- from Over by Lindsay Lohan

'nuff said.

"The space between your heart and mine is the space we'll fill with time."

-Dave Matthews Band

top 5

TOP 5 frequently visited sites
1. http://mail.yahoo.com
2. http://doodlesmat.blogspot.com
3. www.blogger.com
4. www.friendster.com
5. www.gmail.com

TOP 5 favorite songs
1. Sunday Morning by Maroon 5
2. Tattooed On My Mind by D'Sound
3. Everybody Hurts by REM
4. The Scientist by Coldplay
5. Waiting in Vain by Annie Lennox

TOP 5 food
1. french fries from McDo
2. Mom's chicken with cream style corn
3. buffalo wings from Don Hen
4. CPK's grilled chicken bbq salad
5. Yaya Naty's dry adobo

TOP 5 drinks
1. WATER! :)
2. Sangria ;p
3. orange juice
4. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf's Chai Latte
5. Strawberries and Cream frap from Starbucks!

TOP 5 snacks
1. Mr. Chips
2. Yellow Cab NY's Finest
3. Mom's grilled cheese
4. Razon's Halo-Halo
5. isaw!

TOP 5 indoor activities
1. nothing beats SLEEPING on a rainy day! :)
2. blogging
3. watching tv with nothing else to worry about
4. listening to good music and just staring into space
5. EATING :)

TOP 5 outdoor activities
1. just lounging at the beach!
2. watching movies
3. food trips
4. road trips, just driving around relaxes me :)
5. SHOPPING!

TOP 5 accessories you own
1. silver hoop earrings
2. butterly brooch from T. Des
3. bronze bangle
4. St. Therese pendant from Mama T.
5. pearl earrings

TOP 5 major expenses
1. food
2. trike fare
3. cellphone bill
4. clothes
5. school stuff

TOP 5 movies you like
1. Love Actually
2. I Am Sam
3. Now and Then
4. Under The Tuscan Sun
5. Beauty and the Beast! :)

TOP 5 people you miss
1. Fam - Dad, Mom, Geli, Paolo and Sam
2. Mama T.
3. Tamo
4. seekers!
5. B.

coffee break and all that bossanova

After the rehearsal dinner last night, coffee break was full, as EZ and I told T. Des about our newfound escape. Haha. Along with a few lights which I'm sure will be frequent companions, we were able to talk and share what we think about everything that's been happening - the wedding (TOMORROW!), the college life EZ is about to start and I am about to end, and why boys get threatened when girls show some interest. Gah. I can never understand that. I hope we have more coffee breaks soon, especially when EZ moves in a month from now.

Going back to the boys and girls issue, it is really just beyond me. Yet said that me being far is clearly something he doesn't like. So he thinks I am okay with it? And him acting the way he is now is just not helping. He's been such an ass lately, again in his pretentious state of us being on a purely platonic level. Maybe to him it's easier this way because then there would be no expectations whatsoever. But still the whole waiting and wanting and wishing just isn't very pleasing. They say nothing beats anticipation. For how long? If I get accepted for Aegis, I don't think I'd be able to go home for sembreak, which means I won't be seeing him for another nine months. Hay labo talaga. Maybe what he's doing will work for me too. Till December then.

life

*from one of those chicken soup for the teenage soul installments

LIFE isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which girl or guy likes you. It's not about your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about your grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's about how accepted or unaccepted you are.
LIFE just isn't about that.

But LIFE is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise.
These choices are what LIFE is about.

clouds of change

Feels good to be back, both in Manila and in blogworld. Had a wonderful time with my friends earlier, missed them a whole lot! We pigged out as usual, then started a Full House marathon at Yda's place. We're hooked! ;p

So much has happened during my summer break in CDO - my LAST summer, to be more precise. I had a blast with my siblings. Geli and I are a lot closer now, maybe because she's older and we now share a passion for music. Paolo's been talking to me more often than ever before, and I think that's a good thing. He even offered to treat me last night. And Sam - I don't have to elaborate. I miss them already.

It was an eventful yet different vacation, and as Twin always says, it could be a "different best." We spent Easter alone (no huge clan this time), shortened our Visita Iglesia, did WOTC at home, experienced death in the family and all the harsh realities that come with it, finally sold our old car and got a much better one, learned how to drive (it was automatic but at least i tried! ;p), had my first (take note, OFFICIAL ;p) date with someone I actually like, which led me to allow myself to be swept off my feet, also synonymous to giving myself permission to be hurt. But let's not go there right now. On the whole, it was a fabulous summer in CDO. :)

--
Ok, maybe just a prelude.
Sometimes he's there, sometimes he isn't. And I have no idea why. Well I have my own theories but they're only there to supply me with the logic I need, for me to be convinced that there are reasons for everything. And perhaps, for me to realize that some things are just beyond me. Maybe I should just "go with the flow." How do you do that? It's such an overused statement but we don't really know what it means. So what is going with the flow?
I'm confused, scared, happy, giddy. What is this?

Suntok Sa Buwan by Session Road

Hindi mo ba alam
Damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan
Makasama kay suntok sa buwan

'Di mo nga alam
Mundo mo nga'y iyong tignan
Kung ganyan, walang pupuntahan

Hindi ko 'to gusto
Pero 'wag kang lalayo

Itanong mo sa akin
At tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin

'Di mo napapansin
Kailangan mo akong dinggin
'Di habang buhay ika'y aantayin

Ito'y aking hiling
At sana naman ay tanggapin
Ng puso ko'y 'di nabibitin

miss blogging!

Have a few minutes left with me before we head to mass. My stay here at home has been great so far, although I miss Manila already. I miss my friends!!!

==
I'm currently hooked on Bookends by Jane Green, the main character is so much like me! Well except for the fact that she's clad in black all the time. But the bookshop dream, how she handles her relationships with her friends, it's so me! Creepy and funny at the same time. :)

==
I haven't seen my friends here yet, Yet will be home after holy week pa, and Tin's in Cebu coz her Mom just had an operation. I just found out last night that her Mom has cervical (?) cancer. Please pray for her and her family.

==
Maxi, my all time favorite fastfood place here, is now replaced by Sugba King. Haha. Damn i love it there! Grilled tuna! Yuuuuummmmmmyy!! :)

==
Nothing from B yet. Will I get to see him? Oh, and Ara, if you're reading this, I just broke my promise - the monthly resolution. I replied. Dang.

==
This will be my last summer EVER. This should be F-U-N!!! I was thinking of all the things I wanted to do, but here's the thing, I am BROKE. There's this pink Chucks I want so badly, plus I need money for Moro, and the beach getaway with Santayo if ever tuloy. Where will I get all that? And to think I maxed out my account already. Hay.

==
Been thinking about lots of different things over the past few days, wasn't able to put them all down in paper though. Hopefully I will be able to during holy week. We've just been so busy the past few days. Paolo's grad, early Sundays (I am so not used to this!), and Sam's recognition. She got in the honor's list too! :) Yay! Congrats nay! :)
I will post a more decent entry soon. Ciao!

S-U-M-M-E-R ! ! !

aaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D it's summer na!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D that means three STRESS-FREE weeks of being at HOME!!!!!!!!! :) i'm so excited! i'm going home tomorrow! :)

==
My Philo orals went okay today, surprisingly. I wasn't as nervous as I was in all the previous oral exams and I actually got my point across. Thank you Jess. :)

==
Went shopping with Trisha earlier today. (Kakaiba talaga. We were wearing the same outfit today. Freaky!) I promised her we wouldn't do the 7-hours-straight thing again, but we were quite close to it. After our yummy lunch at Dannylicious, we headed to Rockwell at around 2, and finally used our Fully Booked GCs! Yay! :) After that and a few errands for Mom, we headed to Mega na. Oh no. I ended up maxing out my account, saying bye-bye to my savings. (To think I was even lecturing Ciara about it! ;p) On the brighter side, it was my birthday money anyway, and at least I used the money for stuff I could actually use and not just on food. Yeah yeah, I'm convincing myself.
There were lots of cute bikinis at Surplus, but obviously, I didn't have the figure yet. Yes, in a year, I will. Resolutions...I wanted to get a blue and yellow tankini but I was having second thoughts so I trusted my instinct and stuck to my "When in doubt, don't." principle. Got this really cute top and board shorts though for a cheap price. I still can't believe it only cost that much! Got flip flops for Geli and Sam too, now the three of us have sets in pink! :) Chose to buy Paolo a classic Vans cap, the shirts he wanted were all too big for him pa. Hope he likes it.
Trisha and I were good girls since we stopped ourselves from going to Bayo, knowing we'd end up buying something we really didn't need YET. Haha ;p we just compromised by going to Bread Talk instead, take a break for a while before walking again and pushing ourselves in the super cramped MRT. Got home at around 8, so that was about 6 hours all in all. An hour away from the 7 hour record. Now my feet are killing me! But thanks talaga Twin! :)

==
Now that I'm done with junior year, what's next? Duh. I am officially a senior. Wow. Time flies so fast. It's exciting and scary at the same time. But the anxieties let's save for later. This is a well-deserved break. I shall enjoy it to the fullest. :) Ciao!!!

ONE MORE TO GO!!! :D

aaaahhhhh!!!!!! i can do this!!!!! philo orals nalang and i'm D-O-N-E!!! i can hear summer calling me...hold on for one more day. :)

who is it?

all i want is what i'm missing...are you listening?

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason.

Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become.

Even the bad experiences can be learned from.
In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count.

Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish.

Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

And learn a lesson in life each day that you live.

HITCH! :)

Finally got my wish of being able to watch a movie earlier today. I've been yearning to watch one for weeks! The stress is just killing me. After two defenses today, I just couldn't say no to a movie despite my almost empty wallet. So Ciara, Kynan, Yda and I decided to watch HITCH, and it was hilarious! I loved it! :D Kudos to the scriptwriter! And Will Smith rocked!
If you haven't seen it yet, I recommend this movie for a perfect de-stresser. Comedy with a whole lotta sense. ;p I already wanna watch it again! :)

==
Flash project, Marketing final presentation, POM final paper and defense = DONE.
Three more to go and I am on VACATION baby! Finance finals, Philo orals, Walmart case.
Let's do this!

==
Geli made it to the honor's list this year! :) Congrats Pinnnzzz! I'm real proud of you! I'll see you soon :)

==
Side note: We were in uniform today while at the mall. Why, you ask? Because we wouldn't fit in the employee's room if we stayed, and there was really no point in staying since we didn't have a client to cater to today anyway. Hahaha. ;p
If I could have the chance to be one of them, I would point out the mistakes in a more polite way - not only because I've been there, but more because I know that despite those mistakes, somehow, they worked hard for that project. (unless of course, they let someone else do it for them) Hay, issues.
What goes around comes around.

:D

Enough of the drama. I think I found my drive to actually do good in the remaining reqs.
I can do this!

11 days to go. :)

mixed up me

Lilo's clock says it's 2:46 am. I'm not sleepy nor am I productive. I can't concentrate on the ALTP paper. I will never ever buy a grande at 10 pm if I don't intend to pull off an all-nighter.

I'm chatting with Trisha right now, both of us filled with unhealthy nostalgia. Men really are from Mars. I hate this lingering feeling.

==
"Everybody hurts...Sometimes."

CONGRATS YDA!!!:D

Just watched Yda's MYX VJ-for-a-day, CONGRATS Yda Bida! :)
You did a great job! Naks! Myx should hire you na! Move over VJ Iya...hehehe :)
She will be in all Pop Myx eps today, so guys please watch if you can - 8 am, 12 nn, 4 pm, and 8 pm.

That's our VJ right there! :) Congrats Yda!!! :D

...

"Is there anyone out there coz it's getting harder and harder to breathe." - Maroon 5

"The space between the tears we cry is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more.
The space between the wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the pain.
The space between in your heart and mine is the space we'll fill with time." - DMB

"Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb, I wanna know when you're gonna come.
In life I know there is lots of grief, but your love is my relief." - Annie Lennox

t****na.

naiiyak na ako sa

S T R E S S ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

utang na loob sir, ilang papel pa ba?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

My YB entry got published! :D

Thank you JESS! :)

My Youngblood entry got published in the Inquirer two days ago, March 1 to be exact :) :) :)
I practically blew off the eardrums of my dad when he told me he saw my article on the daily paper. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D
Hehe, i'm just so happy about it (isn't it obvious?!), ironic as it may seem. I mean the topic may be sad and all, but still I'm happy that it actually got into print.

Thanks to all those who read it, hehe :) (it's not as bad as it was back in first year, believe me.)

Thanks to Sir Randy for the dream project requirement. It would take me another five years or so if it weren't for the 20%. Haha.

Thanks to my friends, especially to Santayo - Ciara, Kynan, Queena, Shiela and Yda - who have always been there to alleviate that sad feeling, and who are genuinely happy for me. Love ya guys :)

Thanks to Mom for her endless (nagging ;p) encouragement. Love you Mom. :)

Syempre thank you God for making all this possible. :)

*'Kala mo nanalo ng Academy Awards. Pagbigyan niyo na ako ;p

kapuy na!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisod kaayo dili masuko sa mga tao!!! leche.
It's so hard to just let things go at times like this.

B says time is wasted when worrying. If only it were that easy.
How can he be so calm about everything?

I can't wait to go home.
Kapuy na kaayo!

i need glasses

I've been in front of Lilo since 10 am today doing POM. My eyes are hurting and i can't see clearly anymore! Super blurry vision. Haaay. I hope this will all pay off. And we won't have her as our panelist. Please God.

Off to dreamland...I hope it would be a pleasant ride tonight. :)

taking a break

Random 10
1) Waiting in Vain by Annie Lennox
2) Foolish by Ashanti
3) The Scientist by Coldplay
4) Taning by Imago
5) Soldier by Destiny's Child
6) Crush by Mandy Moore
7) A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton
8) Deeper by Hanson
9) Spin by Lifehouse
10) This is Your Life by Switchfoot

What is the total amount of music on your PC?
Lilo's Media Player says its got 1.52 GB of music stored right now.

The last CD you bought?
A blank CD? Other than that, Hanson's Underneath, which I bought months ago. I'd spend that much only on them and maybe BSB ;p

The last song you listened to before this message?
Wonderful by Everclear.

5 songs you listen to a lot and mean a lot to you:
1) Taning by Imago
2) Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.
3) The Scientist by Coldplay
4) You're in Love by Wilson Philips
5) Sunday Morning by Maroon 5

Mata by Mojofly

Kamusta na, nandyan ka pa ba
Wala na yatang magagawa kundi tumawa
Nandyan pa ba mga ala-ala
Ang tanging bagay na naiwan sa 'ting dalawa

'wag na paikutin ang isa't isa
Lahat ng bagay ay malinaw na
Hindi na rin kailangan pagpilitan pa
'di mo na kinakailangan pang magsalita

Nakita ko na lahat ito
Pinahihiwatig ng mata mo
Salamat na lamang sa iyo

ho-hum.

Something's wrong with BloggerBot. I can't upload any pictures. I've been wanting to change my picture in the profile but to no avail. Gah.
==
I'm currently researching for our final project in com. How exactly do you market a cellphone to a HERMIT?!?!?! Oh God help us. The inner artist has long gone. Ayaw na nya mag-isip!
==
Had the 3rd finance long test earlier. I spaced out in the last hour of the exam. Great. This is gonna be the last time my favorite "babawi nalang ako sa next exam" line can be used. I hope I live up to it, I can't afford to fail.
==
We had the delibs last saturday, most of us are feeling sad with the outcome. Ang labo talaga. Personal issues shouldn't have been part of the process. And because of that we pick the people we know less? What?! Hay ewan.
==
A few more hellish weeks to go and junior year will be over. And the year to follow will pass much faster than this one I'm sure. Most of the time I find myself thinking about the future - what's in store for me, what I WANT versus what I NEED to do. I feel so old when I catch myself contemplating about such things! Eeeewww! Why stress on the future? So much can change in a year's time. There's still so much to explore, so much to enjoy. :) But before that, back to hermit-land! Blech!

Stuck by Stacie Orrico

I can't get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just can't seem to find a way
To leave the love behind

I ain't trippin
I'm just missing you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

You kept me hanging from a string
Why you make me cry?
I tried to give you everything
But you just gave me lies

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool
For you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true
I'm stuck on you

Now love's a broken record
That's been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday
Why we got to play these games we play?

I ain't trippin
I'm just missing you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool

I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true
I'm stuck on you

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool
For you

doomed

Oh great. I am doomed. There's a month left till the sem ends, and every week including final's week, I will not be familiar with the word REST. Why? Because...

FEB
18 - POM LT #2
19 - Delibs (which means I need to finish the attendance asap!)
22 - FIN LT #3
24 - POM PASS 2

MAR
1 - COM FINALS
4 - PHILO Symposium Paper, POM Finals, TURNOVER!!!
7 - ALTP Paper
11 - POM FINAL Paper, Walmart Case
12 - MKT FINALS

Dear God. Help us.

The Scientist by Coldplay

Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are.

I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Oh, let's go back to the start.

Runnin' in circles,
Comin' up tails,
It's only science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh, take me back to the start.

I was just guessing,
At numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart.

Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh, when I rush to the start.

Runnin' in circles,
Chasin' tails,
Comin' back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm goin' back to the start.

1st day fun

Ara and i finally concretized our plans of losing these extra pounds by signing up at Moro, originally for the unlimited aero package. We tried Theme Hi-Lo today - it was really fun! :D we were disoriented most of the time but we still managed to sweat a lot! After the water break, we did abs, damn, i didn't know it was that hard. And to think I'm dreaming of having those like Britney's. Haha. Trisha, who was also with us, did the cross trainer after aero. Ara and I wanted to try out the other machines so we decided to pay the extra 200 to avail of the unlimited aero and gym combo. And we also asked one of the trainers, Patrick, to make a program for us! Even more motivation to stick to the regimen! I hope we all lose weight soon...Ewan ko nalang kung hindi pa! ;p
After about an hour of working out on the bike and the treadmill, the three of us decided to call it a day. And to end it? We walked home. From Moro. Take note - WALKED. Wow. I am so proud of myself, for having such energy today. :) Can't wait for the next sessions! :)

birthday photos :)

taken after blowing my cake past midnight...sleepy smiles...:D love ya guys :D

my birthday cake from santayo :D

org stress!!!

As Wednesday draws closer, more options have been pouring into my exhausted mind. I was 95% sure I wasn't going for ds anymore earlier today, but when Shi and I were discussing which members were fit to be officers next year (and the disturbing lack of it), my "vision" for ds suddenly popped out of nowhere (out of sympathy? hhuuuwwwaaattt?!). I had long forgotten about that, thinking I could never execute it, convincing myself that the problem was in the people and not the org itself. Lame excuse huh? So much will change next year because of the move, and it dawned on me that I could actually work on the changes I had in mind for promotions monitoring. Sheesh. Now here I am in the crossroad of choosing where my heart is and where I am needed the most. Two very different scenarios. Ugh. God help me.