reason for my uber fun vacation

fooling around with my sibs during the last break :D it's been only a day since i left and i miss them already :(

that giddy feeling

this will be a short post, i'm just checking my mail in an internet cafe while waiting for my dad to pick me up in time for mass later at 5:30. i told myself i'd post when i get back to Manila on the 28th, but obviously i couldn't help myself. my vacation has been a blast so far, having all the time in the world to catch up on the numerous hours of lost sleep, filling myself with a constant supply of yummy (not to mention FREE) food, and spending lots of time with my fam :) i did go out with my friends already, gabbed about the usual updates over grandes at bo's (how i wish everything were as cheap in Manila!)..tin's heartbreak, sta's "forbidden" love, ray admitting to something we all suspected way before..i wish we could all go out again and talk some more, but on the other hand i really feel so lazy to leave the confines of my oh-so-relaxing home..i was also able to talk to pebbles, finally, about K, and dear God what has gone wrong? tin's reactions also made me see things in a very different perspective, although i wouldn't really say i based my decisions mainly on all the hatred she has been stressing. i'm glad sta shed some light on me, making me realize that i was never really into K romantically, that it was more of admiration, nothing more. there i was, allowing myself to become carried away once again. darn. and look where it has brought me. yet asked me the other night what i would do, i said i really don't know, i don't wanna think about it. he hasn't got it confirmed anyway, i doubt pebbles would tell. i trust her with my entire life, and besides, if ever he'd know, it's all in the past. thank God for early realizations. :)

here's the fun part, the giddy feeling this post is named after. B's back, although i'm not really sure if he ever left my system. he's the only guy i've had the longest crush on, way back since grade 5. and now that we're both in third year college, so much has changed, and i never imagined him to be more than that "guy i had a crush on since 5th grade." sure, i did my research, stalking him every now and then, always knowing the latest about him, but everybody knew it was all just a crushie thing. i'm not jumping into conclusions or anything, but things have been taking a rather different course ever since i got home about a week ago. our rents are like the Flintstones and the Rubbles, best of the best friends. his sister got admitted to the hospital the night i arrived so all six of us, in full force, came to visit. he was there but we rarely talked, just the normal hi's and how are you's. it was more of his older sister and me talking, and the really awkward moment was when she asked B if we were friends. B said yes and she said "then why aren't you guys talking?!" thank you dear sister for making the most awkward moment of my life. (okay, that was an exaggeration.) so we talked a bit, and he just had to mention M (everybody here just has to mention him to me at one point or another, it's getting really irritating). we then left after a few minutes, and three hours later he texted "Auau (take care) pops! Tenx sa visit..God bles ha!:)"
so i replied no problem, take care as well, especially to his sis, and he then replied that he thought i was going out that night coz he was..it took me a while to figure out how he knew i wasn't going out, then i remembered i told his sister i was allowed to go out only starting on friday..so we both said bye and good night. the next morning, i awoke to the beep of my phone..a quote from him. i was thinking that maybe he was still thankful for us visiting so i sent a quote back. from that day on, he would send quotes everyday, either early in the day to greet me good morning, or late at night just before i sleep. and these were not those friendly type of quotes but those double-meaning types (yda should know this! haha) you'd be thinking about over and over, bothered by the feeling of not knowing what it really means. is it just his way of texting, that he normally sent those kinds of messages or did he really mean something else? i let it go momentarily, just sending back safe, friendly quotes. last night, we finally had a conversation through text, talking about the movie he was watching, the gimmick i missed last saturday, and our woes on singleville. it was cut short coz i had to go, mom already starting to nag me. i said bye, and he said thanks for texting even if it was just a really short conversation (short?! it was an hour long..hmmm..). he texted an hour later and said "pops! mag send2x kog quotes sa imo ha? k raman kaha..ganahan lng ko mg send quotes sa imo sumtyms. (il be sendng u quotes frm tym 2 tym ha? is it ok? coz m gettng fond of sendng them 2 u..) gudnyt pops! God bles!"
in another message, in response to my having to go, he said "cge pops, auau ha..txt lng if wala ka lingaw kay hapi man pud ko pg mg txt ka.. (just text me if you have nothing to do coz i do get happy when you text) God bles!" twas more than enough to bring me the sweetest of dreams. :)

(and i said this will be a short post. ;p)

extra-extroverts

spent the entire day with ara to study; me supposedly reading the chapters required for cs and she contemplating on how to go about her philo synthesis tomorrow. we both agreed to study somewhere other than each other's homes since we very well knew we would just fall asleep, or even worse, go online and blog-blog. my philo orals earlier today was really disappointing. i don't know what happened to me. i lost all focus, had no flow, no coherence at all. i myself was confused with what i was blabbing about. and what made me feel even worse was at the end of the dreadful fifteen minutes, sir asked "ano nangyari sa 'yo?" great. just what i needed to prove that i failed the freakin' oral exams. who ever said oral exams would be effective anyway? it never worked for me. i know i should just let this go since i can't do anything about it anymore but i can't seem to forget about it just yet. as tita des said, "it's just an oral exam..philo was something i never understood.." it makes me feel better to know that almost everybody else can't fully comprehend what philo is all about, but still, it just sucks that i wasn't able to get my act together. oh well, what's done is done.

on to the lighter side, i saw K today in the most unexpected place and in the most outrageous outfit ever. and i saw M as well, and i was more than surprised when he called me by my name :) usually he just waves when we see each other in school, so i assumed that he just couldn't associate the name with the face. but apparently i was wrong, since he very well remembered, along with the killer smile :D we chatted for a while, about this sem, next sem, electives, etc...and for the nth time he asked when we would be visiting him, and he said hopefully soon so we could have coffee or something :) isn't he the cutest?!?!? if only he weren't..i'm not sure about that but it's what people say, as much as i'd want to deny it. oh well, here i am again, ms. delusive. but hey, it made my day :)

ara and i were unconsciously (let's just put it at that) stalling in the five hours that we were in starbucks, talking about N and ine, the matrix (which i only understood now), outrageous what-ifs induced by philo, high school-college changes...i mentioned how i was somewhat bothered with the extrovert-introvert shift in me, how back in high school i was ms. outgoing but now i seem to have become ms. homebody, ms. i-really-value-my-time-alone. i see the change as bad since i don't really get to relate with other people that much anymore, and this newfound behavior of always wanting time for myself has managed to take over. ara brought up a point i had never considered before, that maybe i should also consider the difference between the people i was with before and those i am with now - that maybe those that surround me now are just more assertive and more outgoing than i am, and that before, i was around people who were less outgoing than i was, who needed people like me to draw the relational, people-person factor in them. all along i was only looking at things based on my own perspective, solely from my point of view. makes me realize how narrow-minded i was, how limited i allowed myself to be. (why didn't i think of this for the orals? argh!) ara also suggested that i might want to try asking my 'rents if i've changed..maybe i'll do that when i get home, have a heart-to-heart talk with mom.. :)

queena just texted, convincing me to start with theo since we're having a parlor day tomorrow despite the theo finals the next day, haha. so off to the concepts of marriage and human sexuality..two more days to go!!!

side note: i just realized that the tower of my desktop is branded neo..what a coincidence. (do coincidences really exist?)
ara, thanks again for dinner! :D and for the company! hehe :) God Bless to all of us for the last two finals! :)

santayo?

yda's been complaining that i don't have photos of santayo in my blog...so here it is :) the people whom i will literally and figuratively be lost without :)


one of the things we love to do together...EAT!!! :D attacking the ice cream bar at shakey's..kynan was with us, he's the one taking the pic :)

the only picture i have of santayo complete :) taken back during summer stat days..despite the somewhat shiny faces..we're all smiles! :D 

what finals?

it doesn't seem like i have finals tomorrow, philo orals to be exact. i've been stalling since forever, and i don't think i studied enough for it. i was feeling nervous about it earlier this evening so i called kynan and asked how his orals went. i felt a whole lot better after he described how the dreaded 15-minute orals turned out to be somewhat just a casual talk with sir. he gave me tips like not to mention concepts i don't really understand, just stick to what i know, and not think about pressure at all..thanks kynan! :) i hope i can pull it off tomorrow..for some reason i always mess up during orals, hope everything turns out okay. i need that A! haha ;p

i promised myself i wouldn't go online today since i wasted so many hours yesterday, but here i am! i'm turning into a blogaholic already.. and before this, my procrastinating self couldn't wait for saturday (the replay) so i switched on the tv just in time for the new episode of SATC. again, what finals are you talking about?

now i'm wishing i scheduled my orals last monday so i would have had more time to study for CS and theo. i need A's for the finals! i know i'm being extra grade conscious already, but isn't everyone? seriously, i need to have good grades, it's all i can give back to my 'rents who have been working their backs off for me to be here. i know a great bulk of the monthly budget goes to me, and yet i don't do well enough. i was thinking about this earlier, while struggling to figure out how to explain Heidegger and Marcel for tomorrow. i feel like i'm not giving my best shot, i often let my lazy tendencies take over, and force myself to be satisfied with mediocre work. how worse can things get? sure, i've stayed up late for countless nights, especially for marketing and cs, but for the other requirements, what did i do? sleep through readings, breeze through material for quizzes, doze off into dreamland during lectures...jeez. now that i think about it, i feel so guilty. and to think that my 'rents agreed that i go home for the break even if i stay for just a week (yes, miraculously, they did). and they got me a new phone, even if it was way beyond our monthly allocations. with all that they've been doing for me, i have not even given back at least 1/4 of what they wanted. all they want are good grades, and what do i show them, mediocre work! it just feels so shitty. and i can't really do much anymore except do my best for the finals, which is only about 15-20 %. i hope things turn out for the better, i hope i won't have any C's to show them this time. Jess help me.

enough of the drama. on the lighter side, i am sooooooooooooo excited to go home!!!! :D mom agreed last night, all it took was a dramatic text message. kidding! but seriously, it feels different, i feel so much more excited since all along my mind was already set on me not going home for the break. i'll be there for only a week, but what the heck, at least i get to go home! :) God is really so good. :) i can't wait!!! :)

2 days till parlor day.
3 days till santayo's movie marathon.
5 days till evsem.
8 days and i'm back to where my heart is :)

tattooed on my mind

Baby you'll soon forget about all,
or maybe you'll miss it like I do.
One thing’s for sure I’m on a doubt,
spend too much time thinkin’ of you

And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know that you're the dangerous kind
And your smile is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams

Don't wanna write,
I don't wanna call,
I would not know what to say
It should be you
That’s how I want it to be
Tell me you feel the same way

And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know that you're the dangerous kind
your smile is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams

Oh, Yesterday,
I was feelin' safe,
All I do today is tryin’ to be brave
and no melody can seem to suit my mind
and now I curse you for being so sweet and so kind

And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know that you're a dangerous kind
And your face is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams

Yes I know you're tattooed
On my mind you're tattooed

this song says it all... :) i'll post a longer entry soon.

from frowns to smiles

thanks to den's trusty digicam, most of our working days were documented..from the consecutive after-school revision sessions at starbucks to the allnighters at either den's or shiela's place. photos from the latter i will not post, it's too embarrassing and perhaps revealing? :) these three photos sum up how we all felt all through out the sem; drained but still managed to fool around 50% of the time, and of course, delighted with how everything turned out. i will miss you guys!!!


drained from all the passes...making up for that F+...

fooling around...trying to make things lighter... 

all smiles :) celebrating at don henrico's after the defense :) 

happy ending

defense grades were released today, and girlsen got a 3.17! :) yay!!! a true underdog story indeed. please excuse the bragging but i just feel so fulfilled! all the sleepless nights proved to be worth it. thank you Jess :) mwah! :)

a much awaited end

it sure feels good to just laze around and not worry about anything. there's nothing major due on monday so i'm savoring every single minute of my weekend. the 3-unit-but-seems-like-5 marketing is officially over, the last installment of it having been accomplished earlier today. girlsen did much much better in the defense, a far cry from the disastrous mock defense a couple of weeks ago. the panelists were very friendly and open-minded, something which we were really very thankful for. and we loved them more when they couldn't stop praising our ads! :D
girlsen then celebrated at don henrico's, pigging out on mozzarella sticks, pizza heavily laden with cheese (i can't recall the exact name ;p), and the all-time favorite, buffalo wings (yumyumyum!!!). never felt that much satisfaction in such a long time! queena, den, tal, and i then headed back to school to check out the defense grades since our teacher it would be out after lunch. when we got to som, we were told that it would be out on monday or tuesday at the latest. we all then went our separate ways, me planning to catch up on all the many nights i wasn't able to get enough sleep. although i was the one who slept the longest last night (according to den, no one attempted to wake me up, hehehe!), i still feel like it wasn't enough. getting only an hour of sleep last friday and exhausting all my brain cells for that super crammed cs project really drained me out. queena said we should keep a list of all the firsts we had this sem: the consecutive allnighters, creating a business plan in one night, going to school without taking a bath (yuck!), having the biggest eye bags ever! when i think about all these firsts, although i will never want to fall under the same amount of stress ever again, the relationships formed and experiences gained are nevertheless irreplaceable. at the end of the day, i guess what is left in our minds is what we have gained from the experience, more than what we have lost. it's always the good, the positive, that leave a beautiful memory. we may even find ourselves being grateful for the obstacles, as they led us to better ground, molded us into better people. despite all the bags, zits, and extra pounds this whole marketing course has caused me, i am still very much thankful for the enriching experience. (perhaps this will lead me to a marketing career? ;p)

so to girlsen: queena, shiela, tal, patty, and den...you are wonderful groupmates! :) i will surely miss the laugh trips, music videos, bsb bonanzas, food fests, all nighters...i love you guys!!! :D we love wallpaper! :)