tired mind

This week was fast. Too fast. Which is good because I've been highly anticipating this weekend. It's bad too, because it will all be over soon. One of my bad habits, I always get ahead of things. Just like THIS. It's now blown out of proportion in my head. I want to stop thinking about you. Grrrr. I'm thinking aloud.

Please let my birthday be a happy, happy one. ♥

==
"I'm not between you and your ambition."
- 32 Flavors, Alana Davis

worn out

Worked for 12 hours today. It's been quite a while since I last allowed myself to be abused, I already forgot how it felt like. With only 3 hours of sleep last night, I don't know how I was able to pull off this Saturday marathon. Was supposed to de-stress with the girls today, but we all had to work. We are so growing up.

==
"I came in praying for you
Why won't you run
into the rain and play
And let the tears splash all over you."
- #41, Dave Matthews Band

rainbows

I've never felt as sluggish as I did today. It's hard when I have to force myself to joke around with the rest of the team just so they won't ask why I'm not as perky as I normally am. I just don't like it when people make a very big fuss about things. What capped off the already bad day was the paycheck. Who are they kidding? I know I should be grateful, but some things are just plain annoying.

Really, I know I should be thankful for my job. I'm there to give a fresh graduate a job so that he can start making his mark in the world. I'm there to give a twenty-something breadwinner a job so that she can send her siblings to school, and have enough left for her mom's medication. I'm there to give a single mom a job so that she finally take her kid to Jollibee on a Sunday. I'm there to give people a new shot at life.

As much as I'd want to fill the targets and make their lives better, there are some who I just can't let through. The hopper who left her previous companies just because she got sick of getting cursed at. The teenage dad who wasn't able to get to college because he had to work to buy milk and diapers. The retired seaman who hasn't used a computer in the last 7 years. It's terribly difficult to deliver my regrets spiel, which I think I've already mastered devoid of any emotion.

There are also those in between, who don't have the most superb skills, but whom you know can make it because they have the attitude, they have the drive. After training you see how they've improved, and after a few months you see their names on the employee movement memos pasted on the bulletin boards. They're making their way to the top. They see you in the pantry after 6 or so months, and they still remember how you grilled them, how you gave them a chance. Then they say thank you. That's what makes my work worthwhile. I never imagined myself in this industry, doing what I am doing right now, but I guess there's always a reason for being where you are.

==
"Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me."
- Suddenly I See, KT Tunstall

linger

Rainy Saturday mornings don't come around often. Just like you. :p

Not everything has to be about you, you know. But I wonder why it is.

==
"Never give up on the good times
Gotta believe in the love you find."
- Never Give Up On The Good Times, Spice Girls

fast and slow

Some days are too fast, others utterly slow. Still trying to get used to the fixed break sched, and I'm also starting out my new project for the quarter. It's exciting since there's more demand for TS right now so I hope TPET will be busier this time of the year. A welcome change, after the Med POC task. That caused way too much emotional stress for those involved.

Highly anticipating my birthday weekend, Mom and Dad are coming over to celebrate my 22nd with me. I'm excited! :D

Sure. Not sure. Siga palong as Bot would say. Very well said. When do you draw the line?

==
"I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire."
- Sunny Came Home, Shawn Colvin

don't stop the music

I've been singing that song all day. Please don't stop the music.

I got this from KC Concepcion's blog, from her entry entitled "Losing My Pollution":
"never allow anyone to say you don't have a BACKBONE. take a break. know when & why you have to be fair to yourself. know how to cry whether out of relief or remorse. know when something is hurting you. know when something is an act of truth or just an act, period. know when something is, or isn't, good for you. don't stress yourself out about it all...rest, and try to see why you should be proud of your decisions."

That's just what I need. Know and not be blind. Know and believe.

It's fun to just hear you talk even about the most mundane things. And I think that's stupid of me to be compromising too much. So this is how it feels.

==
"I wanna take you away
Let's escape into the music DJ let it play
I just can't refuse it
Like the way you do this."
- Don't Stop The Music, Rihanna

new new year

New year. New year's resolution for my blog. To write longer entries, to post more often. Yeah yeah. I started out this year feeling more optimistic, more positive, more determined. I want to accomplish a lot of things this year, and I hope this isn't just because it's the start of the year when all the planning usually happens. I hope I'll be able to put them into action and really achieve them like how I was able to tick off one goal from last year's list - my apartment. :D

And maybe you're part of 2008? Haha who knows!

Here's to an exciting 2008 ahead! :)

==
"Hope all the time."