they just keep on coming

it's amazing how things still continue to surprise me as the days pass. life indeed is full of surprises. life can never be boring. and whoever said that life isn't fair was a pessimist, no doubt about that. we can always look on the bright side, can't we?

the past few days were filled with events unforeseen. okay, i could say i sort of expected them but i never really thought they would happen. everything's just happening all too soon. how i wish i could control time. it's not so much that there's so much i need to do, but more of wanting to relish what i am doing right now. the first meeting of philosophy can do this much to you. how i long for that night of silence. positive, peaceful, enjoyable silence. i don't think i ever had that. or maybe i just didn't realize it. thank God for this release, it keeps me sane in more ways than i could imagine.

i've got a lot of adjusting to do. i miss going to mass like how i used to the past sems. my sked is a lot more flexible now than the last two years but ironic how i managed to spare just thirty minutes, sometimes even for a whole week. there's guilt on my part, i admit. what's keeping me? i can always use my work as a reason but i very well know i can just go if i want to. who is the first priority anyway? i better fix things up before it gets too late.

i type whatever comes to mind at that particular moment, never mind coherence for now. this just shows how mixed up i am right now. k pops in my head once in a while, but i'd honestly like to forget about him already. there was never anything to begin with. it was just me and my delusive self. yda asked me about c this morning. surprisingly (and yet again, i told you they just keep on coming), i was able to talk without any regret. sure i think about him, i could have already conjured all the what-ifs that would apply, but now he's nothing more than a beautiful memory. i always wanted to believe in firsts, in long term relationships, but with all that has been happening lately, i came to the conclusion that it really isn't about theory. there isn't anything that can be generalized. and i'm too young to hold on to the thought that there won't be anyone else. i know he too will pop in my head once in a while, but i'm certain it won't give me the same disastrous urge it used to for the past two years. it really is about time.

i'm only starting to appreciate all the surprises life has in store for me. there is still so much more to see, so much more to marvel at, so much more to be grateful for. i can't wait.