reality check

My eyes are sure to be strained from staring too long on the monitor, and yet I haven’t had time to blog. I wasn’t able to achieve my goal of writing everyday, I hope that won’t be the case anymore. There is so much I want to change, and I told myself I would actually get things started by July. Well actually it was Yda who gave me the idea. She said she’d give herself until the end of June to get herself into school mode, I was thinking it could work for me too. I hope it does.

My work still continues to surprise me everyday, making me realize how we all make things complicated when in truth they can be really simple. I’m sure it will just a little more time and I’ll get used to it. I got myself involved in another extra-curricular activity which seems to ask for much more responsibility compared to memcom. Paolo’s the head of the logistics team for ACP, and I took the position of being the head of one of it’s departments, venues and equipment, along with Ciara and Kynan. Pao said it was the hardest department but I’m sure we’ll manage. This time I really want to enjoy what I will be doing, not that I don’t enjoy memcom though. I can’t exactly figure out where the flaw is in our system, to be honest, I really don’t want to think about it anymore. Maybe I should just let it go and just do I what I have to, nothing personal. Do things really work better that way? I remember in Pol Sci class earlier today, it was mentioned that we are of a culture which is highly personal rather than rational. So maybe I’m just being too personal. I’ll try to loosen up.

Queena often brings up how we all seem much older now, and I am always amused when she begins to enumerate the reasons behind her observation. And when I think about all the different things that have been happening to us, there is a lot of truth to it. How we get busy (most of time too busy) with orgs, how we avoid the caf as much as possible, how we have all learned to commute at some point (cab included, kynan excluded), and the list goes on. Part of me feels happy with where I am now, with what I am doing, yet there’s always that longing to go back when things weren’t as hectic, as complex as they are now. That longing will always be there, we will always dream of going back even just for that short fraction in time when everything was just so peaceful. But I feel consoled when I look back I don’t feel any hint of regret at all. Well maybe I used to, when it came to c, but now, with full confidence, I can say I have put it all behind me.