There’s so much I want to write about but there's never enough time. I plan to skip my 730 class tomorrow, I haven't started with my readings and my next class will still be at 3 pm. but I feel guilty knowing that I already cut last week so maybe I won't. I feel so icky from the all-you-can-eat ice cream we had this afternoon at Shakey’s, I feel like I gained ten pounds in an instant! Last night’s effort was undoubtedly put to waste.
My friends and I went jogging last night as planned, although it was more of brisk walking which eventually became plain walking as time passed. I now realize why people always say that exercise is therapeutic. It did make me feel a whole lot better, not that I got rid of my worries all together, but more of seeing things in a much brighter perspective. My mind has been so unstable these past few days, often thinking about things which are never really worth thinking much about. This has always been one of my weaknesses. I always tend to complicate what in truth is really simple. Or maybe it's more of my emotions. I admit I was never the rational type. Most of my problems may be really trivial and almost nothing compared to what others are going through, but it's just so hard to keep on thinking about others when its you who’s involved. I think everybody has that kind of attitude, being selfish in some way, some just have more of it than others I guess.
I asked Shiela about her high school friends, if everything was still the same between them. She immediately replied with a big NO! Then she ranted for the next twenty minutes or so, on how she didn’t expect things to turn out that way, etc. Ciara joined in and said her barkada was still the same, that they always made it a point to get together and catch up on each other’s lives every semester. I wish my friends and I were like that too. Well maybe it’s really different when you’ve been together for so long. But still, I wouldn’t consider putting everything into waste just like that. I wouldn’t want to think that it is but the communication right now is really just bad. When we meet up during sembreaks or Christmas breaks, we don’t TALK much anymore. Sure we talk about who’s dating who and all that but rarely do we about the more serious stuff. I mean they’re one of the very few I can talk to about these kinds of things, and now I just can’t anymore. It’s sad; I hope it’s only temporary. I always thought that the friends we made during high school were the ones who’d stick around forever, but right now it just doesn’t seem that way. Maybe it’s too soon to tell, I don’t know. Maybe it comes with age too, with maturity. I really hate to compare especially when it comes to the people who matter to me but sometimes I just can’t help it. In the short span of time that I came to know those I consider friends right now, I wonder why I can always talk to them about real stuff – ask real questions, get real answers. I’m just really disappointed at how things have turned out with my old friends, I just hope that when I get back on Christmas break, I wouldn’t have to worry about this anymore. Maybe I’m just dwelling on this too much. People always say that it’s just better to go with the flow at times. Is this one of those times?
“Life is about change – sometimes its painful, sometimes its wonderful, but most of the time its both.” – Lana Lang, from the television series “Smallville”
No comments:
Post a Comment